I've been in Nebraska way too long.

God Bless the Huskers!!!

Published on April 14, 2005 By Nebraskawoman In Humor

Signs you have lived in Nebraska too long..... {I don't quite qualify but it's close}

...you've been on television at least 3 times describing the sound of a tornado. {Nope, never been on tv to describe it but I could if I had too.}

...you take pride in knowing that on Saturdays, Memorial stadium is the third largest city in the state. {

}

...you brag to other Nebraskans about being from Omaha. {Nope, havn't even been to Omaha. Lincoln a few times though}

...you know how to pronounce Beatrice, Norfolk and Kearney. {Be-a-trice, Nor-fok, Kar-ney, see not that hard.}

...you think Coors is an imported beer {I'm not quite that bad but know some people who are}

..."Back East" means Chicago. {well, yeah.}

...you think pheasants are the most beautiful bird in the world. {not quite, but they are kinda pretty.}

...you know that the statue on the dome of the state capital is actually sowing seed - not bowling. {yeah but I can see the resemblance}

...you're glad you don't live in one of those square states like Wyoming or Colorado. {I don't mind Wyoming, shoot, I can drive there in only 30 minutes and their gas is cheap.}

...you can drive through towns like Wahoo with a straight face. {What's wrong with a name like Wahoo?}

...you know what "knee high by the Fourth of July" refers to. {yeah doesn't everyone?}

...you list your religious preference as "Cornhusker." {Actually we usually just call our selves the Huskers. Short and sweet.}

...you can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance. {It's not that hard.}

...you consider using your life savings to go to the Colorado-Nebraska football game. {I love the Huskers but I wouldn't waste the money watching Colorado}

...there's a tornado warning and you go outside to watch for it. {Hey, I have a nice little plastic weather spotter card that says I can. heehee.}

..."little smokies" are something you serve on special occasions. {with a little bbq sause they are perfect.}

...you think the "Red Sea" refers to the football stadium on Saturdays. {that's one name for it.}

...using the elevator involves a corn truck. {or a beet truck.}

...you know cow pies aren't made of beef. {nope, but when they dry you can use them to compete in cowpie throwing contests. Although Cow Pie bingo is much more fun}

...you and your mate spent last Valentine's Day watching a hunting instructional video by candlelight. {nope, but we have gone target shooting on Valentine's day and he was thinking of getting me my own gun for our anniversary.}

...you actually buy manure. {Nah, my garden isn't that big this year but my brother-in-law is getting some for his.}

...you listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon. {No, I listen to him at 6:30 in the morning on the way to work.}

...your nearest neighbor is in the next area code. {nope they are still in the same area code but it is long distance to call the town 15 miles away.}

...you leave your snow tires on year-round. {Yeah so?}

...you know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk. {It's mostly by color but I still get a little confused sometimes.}

...you consider irrigation boots casual footwear. {During the summer, yeah.}

...you can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart. {oh yeah, a skunk is much much worse.}

...your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. {yeah and you might as well call in to work if there is more than 10 cars waiting.}

...you know of only 2 seasons: "winter" and "august." { yeah but it's usually just snowing and fair time.}

...you know several people who have hit a deer. {my brother had one almost come through the window at him, and I've had a few close calls. I also know people who have hit cattle, coyotes, racoons, skunks, foxes, and jackrabbits.}

...your school classes were canceled because of the cold. {Snow days always were fun.}

...your school classes were canceled because of the heat. {these are better than snow days because you can go hang out at the lake.}

...you switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. {Just yesterday actually, snowing when I left for work and low 70s when I got off work.}

...you end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition...Example: "Where's my coat at?" {What's wrong with that? }

...you can actually locate Nebraska on the United States map. {duh, it's in the middle.}

...you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. {it's the thought that counts. Besides what if the neighbor needs something while I'm gone.}

...you know what "cow tipping" is. {yeah, a drunken game that's most kids play in high school.}

...you voted for a football coach for Congress. { He might run for Govenor if the rumors are true. But I can say I didn't vote for him.}

See, I don't quite qualify for all of them but sadly I do for most. I think I need to take a vacation from this place. {Also, please remember most of my little comments are made tongue in cheek. }

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