HOW TO TELL IF YOU NEED TO PRAY AT WORK - > > When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing "good morning" to > everyone and you think, "Somebody needs to slap the shit out of her"... > You need to pray at work. > > When someone comes in and announces, "office meeting in 5 minutes," and > you think, "what the f..k do they want now?"..... You need to pray at > work. > > When your computer is mysteriously turned off and you want to say, > "which one of you sons of bitches t...

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Bozeman, Montana, while awaiting their respective flights. One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East. Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devo...

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Bozeman, Montana, while awaiting their respective flights. One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East. Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devo...

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 3...

I got this from a friend of mine and thought it was a sweet email. hope you all like it too. Moms & Grandmas > > > Before I was a Mom - > I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. > I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday. > > Before I was a Mom - > I cleaned my house each day. > I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. > I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. > I never thought about im...

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you? He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . .. That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She sai...

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you? He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . .. That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She sai...

Words With Two Meanings: 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing football without a jockstrap. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITME...

Words With Two Meanings: 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing football without a jockstrap. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITME...

Link I just got done reading an article by Toblerone about bondage in the animal kingdom and I remembered a website my daughter has showed me. They had been looking at it in her first grade science class. Some of these animals really are monsterous. Hope you all enjoy.

RESIGNATION I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again. I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day...

RESIGNATION I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again. I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day...