The REAL Story After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a re...

The REAL Story After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a re...

This is an email that a friend sent to me recently. I thought it was great. So I had to share it. Hope you like it. According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lipprints. Every night the maintenance man ...

This is an email that a friend sent to me recently. I thought it was great. So I had to share it. Hope you like it. According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lipprints. Every night the maintenance man ...

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you? He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . .. That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She sai...

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you? He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . .. That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She sai...

Words With Two Meanings: 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing football without a jockstrap. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITME...

Words With Two Meanings: 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing football without a jockstrap. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITME...

RESIGNATION I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again. I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day...

RESIGNATION I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again. I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day...

One of my favorite comedians, Larry the Cable Guy. For those who aren't easily offended, check out his new album. Link Let me know what you think. Who is your favorite comedian?

One of my favorite comedians, Larry the Cable Guy. For those who aren't easily offended, check out his new album. Link Let me know what you think. Who is your favorite comedian?

Signs you have lived in Nebraska too long..... {I don't quite qualify but it's close} ...you've been on television at least 3 times describing the sound of a tornado. {Nope, never been on tv to describe it but I could if I had too.} ...you take pride in knowing that on Saturdays, Memorial stadium is the third largest city in the state. { } ...you brag to other Nebraskans about being from Omaha. {Nope, havn't even been to Omaha. Lincoln a few times though} ...you know how...